Keeping Up With The Kar Krushing Men

car crusher

Cash paid with no questions asked for MOT failures, write-offs and all types of metal cable. Wuff oo babes! x

 

I’ve got an old ’95 Honda Civic that’s just failed its MOT due to rusty bodywork and worn suspension bushes. Can you give me a scrap price and a collection time please.

Billy Trubshaw

Poplar

***********************************

Hi babes!!!

OMG! How kewle is this hun?? I guess you must be a big fan of me and my bros huh? Hey but that’s ok hunny bun! We get fan mail from you guys all the time and we have such a ball opening the letters together! Mom and Dad think we’re so crazy the way we love all of you guys, but hey, parents are so whack, don’t you think sweety?

Hey did you read about my eldest bro, Danny, in Hello last week? How uncool was that? I can’t believe he allowed that dumb bimbo to take snapshots of his tallywhacker like that! I mean to say what does he expect, hanging with cheap little bitches from south of the river? Mom was real upset and she grounded his ass for a fortnight. No pie and mash or nights out at Walthamstowe Dog Track until he learns to respect his body a little more she said. Mind you he could stand to lose a few pounds. I noticed only yesterday he was getting quite a belly on him when he was smelting down some copper wiring looms in the yard. Oooh I can be such a bitch sometimes can’t I hun? hee hee.

Hey did I mention that my baby bro’s getting hitched next week? Should be quite something. We’ve hired the hall at the Shoreditch British Legion and anyone who’s anyone will be there! We’re having potted shrimp sandwiches, real brown ale and we’ve even hired that DJ Biggsy to get everybody throwing some shapes. I’m just so excited hunny. I just know it’s gonna be like totally wild and there’ll be so many paps we’ll probably all get our pictures in The East London Gazette!

Anyways I must fly poppet. I’ve got calls to make, people to see. Busy, busy, busy darling. Take care babes. Mwah! x

PS. We’ll give you 150 notes scrap, minus a 25 quid towing away fee, unless it’s a runner in which case we’ll knock it out down the auction and make a couple of quid on it.

The Kar Krushing Men

Mile End Industrial Estate

Poplar

East London.

Clivey

 

 

6 Comments

Filed under Humor, Humour, Satire

6 responses to “Keeping Up With The Kar Krushing Men

  1. sozsatire

    Reblogged this on SOZ SATIRE.

    Like

  2. Well I liked it anyway! hehe

    Liked by 1 person

  3. 1. What is an MOT?
    2. The Kar Krushing Men sounds more like a single scary woman.
    3. LOL!

    Like

    • 1 – MOT is an acronym for The Ministry Of Transport Test, a certificate of roadworthiness that must be afforded to any vehicle more than 3 years old

      2 – Yes. Yes she does. I’m not sure how many readers saw the cunning allusion to Kim, Khloe and their odious ilk btw but a fella can only try at the end of the day :)

      3 – Stop Lolling and sit up straight. Try to set an example to the youngsters at the very least! :(

      Liked by 1 person

      • 1-Oh.
        2-I’m sure you did a fine parallel, but I avoid anything Kardashian like the plague, so that’s why I wouldn’t have seen the similarity. (But it was funny anyway.)
        3-Naw. My kids are grown, so I don’t need to worry about setting examples anymore. As for the other whippersnappers, their parents will have to caution them about Lolling LOMM fans. ;)

        Like

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