THE THOUGHTS OF HARRY PRATT THE RUMMAGING OLD TWAT

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“How’s it hanging H?”

“Do what! Any way tell you what Ron what do you make of this?”

“What’s that then H?”

“This here – take a gander. I was in St Albans near the old Roman ruins of the Amphitheatre yesterday and whilst having a swifty on the rummaging front in the privacy of a hedgerow I stumbled across this strange little picture. Don’t know what to make of it.”

“Crikey that’s unlike you – let me take a peek…….um…….um….do you know what H I think you may be onto something here mate. On the face of it the picture itself seems to be of a naked bird sat on the side-lines at the Colosseum in Rome circa AD22 I’m guessing yet when you turn it over there is an inscription in Latin on the back.”

“Wonder what it says.”

“As it so happens H I studied Latin at evening classes whilst courting that big lass Sandy Pratt and have determined that this phrase ‘Eos qui ad te salutant verrat’ says, in the Queen’s English ‘To those about to streak we salute you.’ To my mind H you could for once in your sorry life have discovered something of true historical significance here namely a snap of a girl – possibly the first in modern times – to streak at a sporting venue. I bet some centurion on duty here in Blighty treasured this yet lost it along the way only for you to discover 2000 plus years on. You’ll get a handsome pay-out from the Treasure Trove lot for this methinks.”

“Not so sure Ron – to my trained eye it just looks like something someone has mugged up. I think I’ll bin it.”

“Bloody hell H this one is the business I’m telling you. It is certainly better than Cleopatra’s pubes you claimed you located outside the pet grooming parlour last week when they had a toy poodle coat clipping special offer on the go.”

“They were Cleopatra’s pubes by the way – of that there is no doubt. I’m just waiting for forensics at The British Museum to get back to me. As for this I’m ripping it up. Useless – still win some; lose some.”

“H you really are the consummate twat.”

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5 responses to “THE THOUGHTS OF HARRY PRATT THE RUMMAGING OLD TWAT

  1. LOL! Poor Cleo….Doesn’t she know that pubes are not popular anymore?

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