Duncan (Robertson) & Inchy tackle an Ikea Assembly
Dunc was visiting Inchy at his flat.
He’s come all the way from Birmingham to help Inchy with opening his injury-defying mechanism on the kitchen windows so he can clean them.
They celebrated Inchy getting a second mug from the charity shop in the flat by having a cup of tea like.
Having a chin-wag and Inchy showed Dunc the self-assembly clothe-rails and storage thingamajig he’d bought when BJ lifted him to Ikea to have a decker at what they had that might be of use in his bedroom.
There was no stopping Dunc then – he’s opened one of the boxes and was working away at erecting the first clothes-rack in seconds! Despite the lack of tools available in the flat.
Inchy searched for ages through the dozens of big bags of stuff he’d brought to sort out from the old place and managed to find some screwdrivers of a sort.
He returned to the bedroom with them to find the diagrams spread out and Dunc, coat off, sleeves rolled up and finishing the first rack! He’s quick this Dunc yer know!
He carried on and got the other one done while Inchy pretended to be trying to get the kitchen window mechanism to work.
Then Dunc moved on to the really challenging one, erecting the canvas shelves…
Inchy took one look at the instructions supplied, his mouth dropped and he bewilderedly said he’s make another cup of tea for them… he’s not really a DIY man our Inchy yer know.
When Inchy returned with a cuppa, Dunc was well advanced and had the framework up already.
Inchy made himself useful… well he handed stuff to Dunc when he asked for it like.
Dunc trod on Inchies corn a couple of times, and Inchy hit Dun over the head with one of the bars, it was almost like a nursery social occasion in many ways.
The sweat poured from Dunc’s forehead as they grappled to get the thick plastic guides through the indicated on the diagram holes in the thick plastic sides – and Dunc let one of them slip and rebound belted Inchy on his chin.
Much grunting took place, and sounds of bewilderment like “Err..” “Shit!”, and “Argh!” permeated the air for a long time, as they failed to work out how it should have been done now they had got so far, but could not understand why things weren’t as they should have been at this stage of the operation…
After long and frustrating investigations, Dunc realised they should have threaded the two upright bars into the edge of the fabric in the first place.
Inchy learnt some new swear-words from Dunc.
They had to stop there, otherwise Dunc would never get back home before the morning.
Gerry put some clothes on the racks and was pleased with them and thanked Dunc for his help.
Shame about the canvas storage thingy, but it would have to be looked at again with fresh body and minds.
Dunc and Gerry dismissed the idea of hiring themselves out to earn a bit extra as handy-men.
A sweaty tired Dunc and Inchy went down and Dunc was thanked and waved off as he left, no doubt happy to be doing so, on his way back to Birmingham.
Inchy got back to the flat and put some togs on the clothe-racks, then took a photo of the storage-rack as he saw one of the shelves shoot out and the plastic strip again caught him, this time in the gollies. Tsk!
The next day BJ called and looked at the storage thing and saw straight away what the problem was. He started on it and sorted it.
Humbly Inchy thanked him with a red face.
Dunc suggested to Inchy over the internet that this little post be done – in an effort to stop anyone ever asking him or Inchy to do any Ikea assembly work again like!
The kitchen window didn’t get sorted, but still…
Thanks Dunc mate.